Dear God, Even though we talk every day, it has been a while since I sat down to write something. So much has changed. So much has happened! I am sneaking up on five months sober, and that makes me really happy. I was alone last weekend for the first time in 18 months, andContinue reading “Better Chunky Than Drunky…”
Author Archives: tmr
Shit Gets Better, and Other Things With Flies
God, I cannot believe how quickly time passes. It wasn’t that long ago that I realized that I was depressed. I started taking anti-depressants back in early June, and it has been almost a month that I have been on the full dose of my antidepressant. I will hit the magic ‘six weeks’ date rightContinue reading “Shit Gets Better, and Other Things With Flies”
Something Has To Break
God, I finally went and saw my doctor, and they agreed that I need some anti-depressants. I wish that I could say the lovely mood that came on when I realized I was clinically depressed lasted the six days until I saw my doctor, but it didn’t. In fact, Sunday and Monday were absolutely awful.Continue reading “Something Has To Break”
The Strange Way That Things Get Better
Dear God, It’s been a while since I’ve had the energy to post anything. Much to my surprise, everything still feels overwhelming. I do have to admit that some things have gotten better, though. Shortly after I stopped drinking and started attending AA, I stopped hating myself, which is a victory all by itself. WhatContinue reading “The Strange Way That Things Get Better”
So Soon?
Dear God, I could have sworn that sobriety was about me not drinking anymore, about me finally being present in my own life and not getting numb and hiding. There is quite a bit of truth in that, but I am discovering that there is so much more to being sober. For instance, feelings. IContinue reading “So Soon?”
On Such A Night As This…
God, I did it! I have been so afraid of doing anything in public with other people, afraid of going to dinner with anyone other than my husband P or my kids. Basically I am afraid of doing anything that will bring me in contact with alcohol when there won’t be anyone with me whoContinue reading “On Such A Night As This…”
Sorry. I Have Mommy Issues
Dear God, Well, for someone who was wondering about stored up emotions, I do believe I have found a few that were stuffed in a drawer or something, because I was a hot mess this last weekend. Basically, my mom decided to do her ‘bad daughter, guilt, guilt!’ thing with me. My mom learned toContinue reading “Sorry. I Have Mommy Issues”
Other People’s Misery Makes Me Feel Normal
Dear God, Not that you don’t know this already, but I’ve been on a tear of reading memoirs of sobriety. Reading about other people’s addictions serves two purposes: first…my bottom wasn’t very low and it can be very satisfying to realize that other people got sober without first having to destroy their lives entirely. ItContinue reading “Other People’s Misery Makes Me Feel Normal”
OMG I made it!
Dear God, Today is Day 30!! 30 days of sobriety means something in AA. I won’t be going to a meeting tonight, so I won’t get my 30 day chip until later this week. I’d get my chip on Thursday, but I’m holding out until Friday because I want to get my chip from myContinue reading “OMG I made it!”
On Being Invisible and the Bendable Truth
Dear God, Sobriety, as I understand it right now, involves getting honest with myself and with others. It involves learning to speak difficult truths about myself to myself and to at least one other person. I am also beginning to realize that it involves speaking my truth to other people, especially when I find myselfContinue reading “On Being Invisible and the Bendable Truth”
Ditching The Wine Press 