Early Sobriety – Ditching The Wine Press

The Strange Way That Things Get Better

Dear God, It’s been a while since I’ve had the energy to post anything. Much to my surprise, everything still feels overwhelming. I do have to admit that some things have gotten better, though. Shortly after I stopped drinking and started attending AA, I stopped hating myself, which is a victory all by itself. WhatContinue reading “The Strange Way That Things Get Better”

So Soon?

Dear God, I could have sworn that sobriety was about me not drinking anymore, about me finally being present in my own life and not getting numb and hiding. There is quite a bit of truth in that, but I am discovering that there is so much more to being sober. For instance, feelings. IContinue reading “So Soon?”

Other People’s Misery Makes Me Feel Normal

Dear God, Not that you don’t know this already, but I’ve been on a tear of reading memoirs of sobriety. Reading about other people’s addictions serves two purposes: first…my bottom wasn’t very low and it can be very satisfying to realize that other people got sober without first having to destroy their lives entirely. ItContinue reading “Other People’s Misery Makes Me Feel Normal”

OMG I made it!

Dear God, Today is Day 30!! 30 days of sobriety means something in AA. I won’t be going to a meeting tonight, so I won’t get my 30 day chip until later this week. I’d get my chip on Thursday, but I’m holding out until Friday because I want to get my chip from myContinue reading “OMG I made it!”

On Being Invisible and the Bendable Truth

Dear God, Sobriety, as I understand it right now, involves getting honest with myself and with others. It involves learning to speak difficult truths about myself to myself and to at least one other person. I am also beginning to realize that it involves speaking my truth to other people, especially when I find myselfContinue reading “On Being Invisible and the Bendable Truth”

Well, That Hurt.

Dear God, When I first started going to meetings, every time I tried to speak up all I could do was cry. I hated myself so much that trying to make words hurt my throat. I really thought that somehow the pain would be over when I stopped hating my self and turned to hatingContinue reading “Well, That Hurt.”

The End of Fun

Dear God, My sponsor told me the other day that it would be good for me to journal. Honestly, I’ve never been very good at consistently journaling unless I had to do it for a class. You know how I am about getting good grades—I won’t let my distaste for journaling get in the wayContinue reading “The End of Fun”